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JackBauerIsGod.com http://www.jackbauerisgod.com Scientifically proven facts about Jack Bauer.
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Fact # 9 Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=8 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 64 If you ever need a country annihilated, call Jack Bauer and tell him that Kim was kidnapped and killed there. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=63 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 22 When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=21 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 78 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=77 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 43 The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?" http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=42 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 30 Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=29 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 36 Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead." http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=35 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 95 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=94 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 24 You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=23 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 53 Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=52 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 58 Jack Bauer fought Cancer. Now it's safe to smoke. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=57 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 27 Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer". http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=26 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 37 Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=36 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 91 The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=90 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800 Fact # 3 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=2 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 11:03:56 -0800