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JackBauerIsGod.com http://www.jackbauerisgod.com Scientifically proven facts about Jack Bauer.
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Fact # 3 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=2 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 62 When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=61 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 41 It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=40 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 92 Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=91 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 52 When Jack Bauer wants a vacation, every terrorist in Los Angeles is dead within an hour. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=51 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 97 Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=96 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 34 If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=33 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 49 Jack Bauer has never taken a shit that has lasted more than 4 minutes and 37 seconds. Due to the graphic nature of these shits, however, they are taken during commercial breaks. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=48 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 72 When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=71 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 87 When someone said Jack Bauer facts are just like Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck roundhoused Jack. Jack shot him in the face, leaving Chuck dead and only a cut on Jack's lip, which he promptly healed with Chuck's tears. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=86 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 31 In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=30 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 5 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=4 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 90 A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=89 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 51 Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=50 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700 Fact # 39 Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=38 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:37:31 -0700