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JackBauerIsGod.com http://www.jackbauerisgod.com Scientifically proven facts about Jack Bauer.
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Fact # 101 When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=100 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 27 Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer". http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=26 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 96 If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=95 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 63 It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=62 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 50 Jack Bauer invented a time machine for a seventh grade science fair. Why else do you think dinosaurs are extinct? http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=49 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 21 Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=20 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 76 Jack Bauer's top secret morning coffee recipie: 2 parts HCL, 1 part Xylene, 1 part Draino, Mix, boil and run thru crushed habanero powder into a crucible. When the coffee has a ring of cerenkov blue around it you'll have gotten it right. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=75 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 74 How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=73 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 55 Jack Bauer doesn't need to give anyone presents, the fact that they're alive is gift enough. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=54 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 68 Jack Bauers favorite interrogation technique: Bad Cop/Dead Suspect http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=67 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 89 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=88 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 10 Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=9 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 78 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=77 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 66 Jack Bauer drinks Centox gas and spits out terrorists. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=65 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700 Fact # 36 Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead." http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=35 Sun, 19 Aug 2018 00:44:15 -0700