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JackBauerIsGod.com http://www.jackbauerisgod.com Scientifically proven facts about Jack Bauer.
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Fact # 109 "Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked". http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=108 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 92 Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=91 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 42 If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=41 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 26 When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=25 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 60 If Jack Bauer were to run for President, he would be the nomination for both parties and win with 100% of the votes. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=59 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 79 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=78 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 56 Jack Bauer is such a badass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=55 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 35 People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=34 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 22 When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=21 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 104 Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=103 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 44 Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=43 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 57 Where the Happy Meal at McDonalds comes with a toy, the Jack Bauer Meal comes with a dead terrorist. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=56 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 96 If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=95 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 5 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=4 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700 Fact # 11 When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade. http://www.jackbauerisgod.com/browse.php?offset=10 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 23:46:02 -0700