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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 24You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
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# 79Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."
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# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
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# 25Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
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# 89Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
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# 6Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
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# 2If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
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# 45After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
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# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
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# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
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# 10Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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# 13Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
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# 22When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
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# 107Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
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# 68Jack Bauers favorite interrogation technique: Bad Cop/Dead Suspect
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# 14Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
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# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
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# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 102Jack Bauer once went into a bar, and asked for a 'Jack Bauer'. He received three shots of Jack Daniel's, a shot of kerosene and four shots of tequila mixed. When seeing this, another man approached the bar and asked for a Jack Bauer. He got a 9mm round to the face.
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# 59Anytime, anywhere, anyone shoots someone in the thigh, they have to pay a royalty to Jack Bauer.
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# 53Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
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# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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