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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 58Jack Bauer fought Cancer. Now it's safe to smoke.
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# 80Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd...no one fools Jack Bauer.
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# 59Anytime, anywhere, anyone shoots someone in the thigh, they have to pay a royalty to Jack Bauer.
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# 10Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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# 36Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."
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# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
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# 71Jack Bauer once killed a terrorist in NYC by pointing his finger, and whispering "Bang!" While eating a burger. In LA.
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# 60If Jack Bauer were to run for President, he would be the nomination for both parties and win with 100% of the votes.
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# 106In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
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# 84When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
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# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
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# 56Jack Bauer is such a badass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.
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# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
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# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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# 11When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
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# 41It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
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# 63It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
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# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
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# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 52When Jack Bauer wants a vacation, every terrorist in Los Angeles is dead within an hour.
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# 23When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
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# 47Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
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# 21Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
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# 29Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
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