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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 71.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
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# 32What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
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# 15Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
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# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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# 14Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
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# 27Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
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# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
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# 30Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
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# 104Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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# 16When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
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# 100Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
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# 101When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
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# 99Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
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# 93Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
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# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
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# 20When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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# 21Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
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# 103Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
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# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
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# 42If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
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