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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 97Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 290 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 17Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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# 66Jack Bauer drinks Centox gas and spits out terrorists.
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# 9Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
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# 24You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
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# 57Where the Happy Meal at McDonalds comes with a toy, the Jack Bauer Meal comes with a dead terrorist.
2424241200 ave of 84 (from 123 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 43The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"
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# 64If you ever need a country annihilated, call Jack Bauer and tell him that Kim was kidnapped and killed there.
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# 106In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
2424241200 ave of 93 (from 251 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 189 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 100Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 803 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 38Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
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# 19Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
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# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
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# 84When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 676 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 74How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark.
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# 45After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 166 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 93Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 228 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 81If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 983 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
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# 27Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
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# 2If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
2424242412 ave of 98 (from 851 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 20When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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# 47Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
2424120000 ave of 71 (from 141 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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