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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 81If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
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# 96If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
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# 51Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 59Anytime, anywhere, anyone shoots someone in the thigh, they have to pay a royalty to Jack Bauer.
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# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 16When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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# 50Jack Bauer invented a time machine for a seventh grade science fair. Why else do you think dinosaurs are extinct?
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# 82Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
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# 2If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
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# 18Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
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# 21Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
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# 41It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
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# 103Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
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# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
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# 56Jack Bauer is such a badass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.
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# 57Where the Happy Meal at McDonalds comes with a toy, the Jack Bauer Meal comes with a dead terrorist.
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# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
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# 78The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
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# 42If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
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# 71.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
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# 94Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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# 31In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
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