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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
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# 104Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 3If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
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# 8Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
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# 92Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.
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# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
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# 94Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
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# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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# 97Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.
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# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
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# 88When someone said Jack Bauer facts are copying Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck tried to roundhouse kick Jack, who soon shot him in the face.
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# 23When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 53Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
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# 18Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
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# 35People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
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# 107Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
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# 76Jack Bauer's top secret morning coffee recipie: 2 parts HCL, 1 part Xylene, 1 part Draino, Mix, boil and run thru crushed habanero powder into a crucible. When the coffee has a ring of cerenkov blue around it you'll have gotten it right.
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# 49Jack Bauer has never taken a shit that has lasted more than 4 minutes and 37 seconds. Due to the graphic nature of these shits, however, they are taken during commercial breaks.
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# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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# 12Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
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# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
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