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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 38Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
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# 28In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
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# 92Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 93 (from 192 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 60If Jack Bauer were to run for President, he would be the nomination for both parties and win with 100% of the votes.
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# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
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# 71Jack Bauer once killed a terrorist in NYC by pointing his finger, and whispering "Bang!" While eating a burger. In LA.
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# 4Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
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# 96If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
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# 107Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
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# 105Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers.
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# 82Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
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# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
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# 69Jack Bauer's favorite Beatles tune: Happiness is a Warm Gun
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# 31In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
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# 17Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 102Jack Bauer once went into a bar, and asked for a 'Jack Bauer'. He received three shots of Jack Daniel's, a shot of kerosene and four shots of tequila mixed. When seeing this, another man approached the bar and asked for a Jack Bauer. He got a 9mm round to the face.
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# 37Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
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# 65If Jack Bauer were to interrogate himself, the result would be analogous to multiplying infinity by zero.
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
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# 56Jack Bauer is such a badass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.
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# 52When Jack Bauer wants a vacation, every terrorist in Los Angeles is dead within an hour.
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# 87When someone said Jack Bauer facts are just like Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck roundhoused Jack. Jack shot him in the face, leaving Chuck dead and only a cut on Jack's lip, which he promptly healed with Chuck's tears.
2424241200 ave of 86 (from 259 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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