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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
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# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 191 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 442 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 91 (from 180 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 3If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2424241200 ave of 90 (from 170 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 74How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 385 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 106In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
2424241200 ave of 93 (from 251 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 55Jack Bauer doesn't need to give anyone presents, the fact that they're alive is gift enough.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 142 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
2424241200 ave of 85 (from 127 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
2424241200 ave of 82 (from 138 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 37Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 318 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 109"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked".
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 690 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 22When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 148 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 79Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 242 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 76Jack Bauer's top secret morning coffee recipie: 2 parts HCL, 1 part Xylene, 1 part Draino, Mix, boil and run thru crushed habanero powder into a crucible. When the coffee has a ring of cerenkov blue around it you'll have gotten it right.
2424120000 ave of 64 (from 124 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 9Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 90 (from 174 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 508 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 995 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 158 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 28In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 490 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 63It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
2424242412 ave of 98 (from 214 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 65If Jack Bauer were to interrogate himself, the result would be analogous to multiplying infinity by zero.
2424241200 ave of 79 (from 133 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 99Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 661 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 101When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 325 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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