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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 32What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
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# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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# 8Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
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# 66Jack Bauer drinks Centox gas and spits out terrorists.
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# 23When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
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# 12Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
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# 63It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
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# 21Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
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# 31In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
2424241200 ave of 96 (from 138 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 189 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 28In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
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# 64If you ever need a country annihilated, call Jack Bauer and tell him that Kim was kidnapped and killed there.
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# 50Jack Bauer invented a time machine for a seventh grade science fair. Why else do you think dinosaurs are extinct?
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# 47Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
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# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
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# 16When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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# 11When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
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# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
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# 36Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."
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# 49Jack Bauer has never taken a shit that has lasted more than 4 minutes and 37 seconds. Due to the graphic nature of these shits, however, they are taken during commercial breaks.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 145 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 70Jack Bauer has counted to infinity. Twice.
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# 17Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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# 56Jack Bauer is such a badass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.
2424120000 ave of 64 (from 147 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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