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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 996 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 104Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 647 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
2424241200 ave of 93 (from 237 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 3If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2424241200 ave of 90 (from 170 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 8Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 165 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 92Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 93 (from 192 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
2424241200 ave of 85 (from 127 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 94Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
2424242412 ave of 98 (from 814 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 167 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 209 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 97Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 290 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 510 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 88When someone said Jack Bauer facts are copying Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck tried to roundhouse kick Jack, who soon shot him in the face.
2424241200 ave of 76 (from 181 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 23When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
2424242412 ave of 98 (from 573 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
2424241200 ave of 87 (from 158 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 53Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 159 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 18Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
2424241200 ave of 88 (from 131 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 35People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 397 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 107Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 257 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 76Jack Bauer's top secret morning coffee recipie: 2 parts HCL, 1 part Xylene, 1 part Draino, Mix, boil and run thru crushed habanero powder into a crucible. When the coffee has a ring of cerenkov blue around it you'll have gotten it right.
2424120000 ave of 64 (from 124 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 49Jack Bauer has never taken a shit that has lasted more than 4 minutes and 37 seconds. Due to the graphic nature of these shits, however, they are taken during commercial breaks.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 145 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 1Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 191 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 12Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 173 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 54One time, Jack Bauer stubbed his toe, and subsequently destroyed the entire country of Saudi Arabia.
2424241200 ave of 80 (from 133 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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