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| # 74 | How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark. | |    ave of 94 (from 385 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 75 | Jack Bauer is so ruthless, his 4 inch action figure can extract information more efficently than an h2so4 enema. | | ave of 75 (from 101 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 76 | Jack Bauer's top secret morning coffee recipie:
2 parts HCL, 1 part Xylene, 1 part Draino, Mix, boil and run thru crushed habanero powder into a crucible. When the coffee has a ring of cerenkov blue around it you'll have gotten it right. | | ave of 64 (from 124 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 77 | Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines. | | ave of 85 (from 127 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 78 | The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. | | ave of 99 (from 961 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 79 | Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." | | ave of 97 (from 242 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 80 | Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd...no one fools Jack Bauer. | | ave of 97 (from 345 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 81 | If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". | | ave of 99 (from 982 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 82 | Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. | | ave of 92 (from 153 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 84 | When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. | | ave of 99 (from 675 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 87 | When someone said Jack Bauer facts are just like Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck roundhoused Jack. Jack shot him in the face, leaving Chuck dead and only a cut on Jack's lip, which he promptly healed with Chuck's tears. | | ave of 86 (from 259 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 88 | When someone said Jack Bauer facts are copying Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck tried to roundhouse kick Jack, who soon shot him in the face. | | ave of 76 (from 181 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 89 | Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. | | ave of 99 (from 907 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 90 | A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. | | ave of 87 (from 158 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 91 | The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. | | ave of 88 (from 165 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 92 | Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. | | ave of 93 (from 192 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 93 | Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." | | ave of 97 (from 228 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 94 | Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. | | ave of 98 (from 813 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 95 | On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. | | ave of 97 (from 442 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 96 | If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. | | ave of 99 (from 461 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 97 | Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed. | | ave of 96 (from 290 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 98 | Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. | | ave of 99 (from 995 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 99 | Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. | | ave of 97 (from 661 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 100 | Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. | | ave of 99 (from 802 votes) | Rate it: |
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