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Jack Bauer is God.

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Facts 25 through 47: <= Prev Next =>
# 25Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 167 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 91 (from 180 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 27Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 178 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 28In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 490 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 29Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 578 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 30Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 735 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 31In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
2424241200 ave of 96 (from 138 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 32What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 140 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
2424241200 ave of 92 (from 158 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 209 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 35People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
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# 36Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 726 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 37Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 318 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 38Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
2424241200 ave of 94 (from 154 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 40When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
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# 41It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
2424241200 ave of 91 (from 146 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 42If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
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# 43The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 675 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 45After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
2424242412 ave of 96 (from 166 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 46Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 263 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 47Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
2424120000 ave of 71 (from 141 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 48It's not considered nerve gas until it gets on the nerves of Jack Bauer.
2424241200 ave of 84 (from 124 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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